Post by Red Stepchild on Aug 15, 2018 14:03:13 GMT -7
Every year I look forward to Drew Magary spewing hate about every NFL team, one day at a time.
Today it is our turn: deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-arizona-cardinals-1828362528
This years entry is similar to prior years - he rips on AZ (the state, the players, fans, ownership, management, even Meghan McCain) and makes every awful prediction that you might expect, often in the crudest way possible. Reading entries from past years you get the benefit of knowing what he got right as well as wrong (in 2015 he was almost totally wrong, so that one is a favorite), but right before the season starts, these articles have the delightful effect of pissing me off while also making whatever I'm drinking shoot through my nose with laughter.
Please note: These are filled with bad words and crass analogies. You're probably better off just avoiding it - still I can't help but include the introductory paragraph here: "Your 2017 record: 8-8. Congratulations, Arizona. Your painfully brief stretch of tangential NFL relevance is now OVER. Bruce Arians opted for a retirement full of bad hats and nitroglycerin tablets. Carson Palmer hung up both his prosthetic knees. David Johnson suffered the first of MANY season-ending injuries. It’s all over now, but what a run! You were an NFC finalist one time! HANG A BANNER. Years from now, you’ll tell your grandkids about the Arians/Palmer glory days, and those grandkids won’t [care] because they’ll be Cowboys fans."
The first comment on the "story" is by Will Leitch, the founder of Deadspin and a true lifelong Cardinals fan. Cardinals are his team and he talks about it at length in his books and most interviews (often the anecdote about having to find a bar in NY City where he can watch the Cards games is included). Here's a terrific interview with him from 2009 that is so good it probably belongs in the "History of the Cardinals" section of this board:
www.ktiv.com/story/9733668/the-spin-on-the-buzzsaw-that-is-the-cardinals
Today it is our turn: deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2018-arizona-cardinals-1828362528
This years entry is similar to prior years - he rips on AZ (the state, the players, fans, ownership, management, even Meghan McCain) and makes every awful prediction that you might expect, often in the crudest way possible. Reading entries from past years you get the benefit of knowing what he got right as well as wrong (in 2015 he was almost totally wrong, so that one is a favorite), but right before the season starts, these articles have the delightful effect of pissing me off while also making whatever I'm drinking shoot through my nose with laughter.
Please note: These are filled with bad words and crass analogies. You're probably better off just avoiding it - still I can't help but include the introductory paragraph here: "Your 2017 record: 8-8. Congratulations, Arizona. Your painfully brief stretch of tangential NFL relevance is now OVER. Bruce Arians opted for a retirement full of bad hats and nitroglycerin tablets. Carson Palmer hung up both his prosthetic knees. David Johnson suffered the first of MANY season-ending injuries. It’s all over now, but what a run! You were an NFC finalist one time! HANG A BANNER. Years from now, you’ll tell your grandkids about the Arians/Palmer glory days, and those grandkids won’t [care] because they’ll be Cowboys fans."
The first comment on the "story" is by Will Leitch, the founder of Deadspin and a true lifelong Cardinals fan. Cardinals are his team and he talks about it at length in his books and most interviews (often the anecdote about having to find a bar in NY City where he can watch the Cards games is included). Here's a terrific interview with him from 2009 that is so good it probably belongs in the "History of the Cardinals" section of this board:
www.ktiv.com/story/9733668/the-spin-on-the-buzzsaw-that-is-the-cardinals