Sacred meeting number for with the mysterious stranger
Apr 22, 2024 3:39:47 GMT -7
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Post by jeffcardinalfan on Apr 22, 2024 3:39:47 GMT -7
Yet once again a mysterious stranger exits his vehicle and enters the Cardinals facility. The receptionist waves him on through and says go on up. Mike is expecting you.
After he has moved on the new intern says wow I didn't know Brad Pitt was a Cardinal football fan. All the other receptionists roll there eyes at him.
The mysterious stranger knocks on Mike's door and Mike says come on in.
Once again the mysterious stranger removes his Detroit tigers baseball cap and sunglasses. He sees mike, Monty and Gannon seated and all looking very anxious and worried.
Costner. Good morning guys. So Monty how did you enjoy your week off?
Monty. It was great Mr Costner. I was pretty skeptical of your idea and I didn't sleep much. I know you told me not to take any calls at all but I did take one. Jerry Jones called me. He offered us their number 1 round pick this year, their second round pick this year, their first round pick next year and Micah Parsons for our number four. While we were on the phone he asked for my email address and sent me pictures of all the Dallas cowboy cheerleaders. He told me we could each pick one.
I told him that we were all happily married and that we couldn't accept any type of offer like that. And then I found out what an ass he really is. He said well Monty if you don't take this offer then one of my IT people are going to create some images of each of the three of you hanging out with one of the Dallas cowboy cheerleaders.
He was still talking when I hung up on him.
That is the only call I took this week but I did listen to some of the messages people left. My favorite was the one that Sean Payton left. This jerk even had his grandchildren get on the phone begging me to help their pawpaw.
It's not that we don't appreciate your help the last month but we will need to figure out what we're going to do and fast. The draft is just a few days away.
Costner. That is hilarious but do not let Murray find out about the offer of the cheerleaders. Okay. Y'all need him to save all of his energy for the football field right?
Mike. Monte did you record that call with jerry? If you did I want a copy of that to take to the next owner's meeting. I'm tired of him acting like he's the king of the owners and I'm going to burn him badly with this. In fact I'm going to make him sell my mustard packs in his stadium and give me 75% of the revenue.
Gannon. Okay Mr Costner what are we going to do?
Costner. Okay guys I'm going to outline the plan that is going to put y'all in the super bowl.
First, you're going to trade pick number four to the Vikings for their number 11 and number 23 this year and their number one and number three next year.
Then we're going to trade our first round pick number 27 and the third round pick to the chargers for their pick number five this year and their second round pick next year.
Then we're going to trade that pic to the Giants for their first round pick this year, the first round pick next year and their second round pick this year.
Then since Denver is by far the most desperate team but don't have a lot of draft capital we're going to trade that pic to Denver for surtain, their first and third round pick this year, and their first round pick next year and their first round pick the year after that.
Then we're going to trade the first round pick we got from them and another one of our third round picks to the Titans for their first round pick this year.
Monty. You are a genius Mr Costner. Can I get your autograph?
Mike. Wow! That is outstanding. If you have a few minutes Mr Costner I'll have one of our interns run down to IHOP and we're all going to eat pancakes this morning. I can't stand to Seattle GM either.
Gannon. That is absolutely unreal Mr costner. Mike I'd like your permission to go ahead and hire 20 more scouts and have them immediately start working on next year's draft. To himself. I'm going to be Coach of the Year this year and the year after that and the year after that. I'm going to win more super bowls than that jerk Jimmy Johnson.
Soon the pancakes arrive and for half an hour the audio sounds like a kindergarten class at recess. Finally Costner stands up and says okay guys my work here is done. He throws a folded up piece of paper under the desk in front of Mike and walks out the door.
Mike picks up the piece of paper, unfolds it and reads aloud what it says.
Haha! Vonte Mack no matter what!
After he has moved on the new intern says wow I didn't know Brad Pitt was a Cardinal football fan. All the other receptionists roll there eyes at him.
The mysterious stranger knocks on Mike's door and Mike says come on in.
Once again the mysterious stranger removes his Detroit tigers baseball cap and sunglasses. He sees mike, Monty and Gannon seated and all looking very anxious and worried.
Costner. Good morning guys. So Monty how did you enjoy your week off?
Monty. It was great Mr Costner. I was pretty skeptical of your idea and I didn't sleep much. I know you told me not to take any calls at all but I did take one. Jerry Jones called me. He offered us their number 1 round pick this year, their second round pick this year, their first round pick next year and Micah Parsons for our number four. While we were on the phone he asked for my email address and sent me pictures of all the Dallas cowboy cheerleaders. He told me we could each pick one.
I told him that we were all happily married and that we couldn't accept any type of offer like that. And then I found out what an ass he really is. He said well Monty if you don't take this offer then one of my IT people are going to create some images of each of the three of you hanging out with one of the Dallas cowboy cheerleaders.
He was still talking when I hung up on him.
That is the only call I took this week but I did listen to some of the messages people left. My favorite was the one that Sean Payton left. This jerk even had his grandchildren get on the phone begging me to help their pawpaw.
It's not that we don't appreciate your help the last month but we will need to figure out what we're going to do and fast. The draft is just a few days away.
Costner. That is hilarious but do not let Murray find out about the offer of the cheerleaders. Okay. Y'all need him to save all of his energy for the football field right?
Mike. Monte did you record that call with jerry? If you did I want a copy of that to take to the next owner's meeting. I'm tired of him acting like he's the king of the owners and I'm going to burn him badly with this. In fact I'm going to make him sell my mustard packs in his stadium and give me 75% of the revenue.
Gannon. Okay Mr Costner what are we going to do?
Costner. Okay guys I'm going to outline the plan that is going to put y'all in the super bowl.
First, you're going to trade pick number four to the Vikings for their number 11 and number 23 this year and their number one and number three next year.
Then we're going to trade our first round pick number 27 and the third round pick to the chargers for their pick number five this year and their second round pick next year.
Then we're going to trade that pic to the Giants for their first round pick this year, the first round pick next year and their second round pick this year.
Then since Denver is by far the most desperate team but don't have a lot of draft capital we're going to trade that pic to Denver for surtain, their first and third round pick this year, and their first round pick next year and their first round pick the year after that.
Then we're going to trade the first round pick we got from them and another one of our third round picks to the Titans for their first round pick this year.
Monty. You are a genius Mr Costner. Can I get your autograph?
Mike. Wow! That is outstanding. If you have a few minutes Mr Costner I'll have one of our interns run down to IHOP and we're all going to eat pancakes this morning. I can't stand to Seattle GM either.
Gannon. That is absolutely unreal Mr costner. Mike I'd like your permission to go ahead and hire 20 more scouts and have them immediately start working on next year's draft. To himself. I'm going to be Coach of the Year this year and the year after that and the year after that. I'm going to win more super bowls than that jerk Jimmy Johnson.
Soon the pancakes arrive and for half an hour the audio sounds like a kindergarten class at recess. Finally Costner stands up and says okay guys my work here is done. He throws a folded up piece of paper under the desk in front of Mike and walks out the door.
Mike picks up the piece of paper, unfolds it and reads aloud what it says.
Haha! Vonte Mack no matter what!