Overheard during the mysterious strangers third secret meeti
Apr 10, 2024 12:42:02 GMT -7
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Post by jeffcardinalfan on Apr 10, 2024 12:42:02 GMT -7
Once again a tall man wearing a Detroit tigers baseball cap and dark sunglasses exits his vehicle and enters the Cardinals facility. The receptionist tells him to go right in. By now they all know who he is except for the one intern who's still insist that he's Matthew mcconaughey.
Just a few minutes later an older man wearing a St Louis battle Hawks baseball cap gets out of his vehicle and approaches a Cardinals facility for his met by two large armed security guards. They tell him sorry sir we've been told not to allow you entry today. The shabbily dressed Man says but but I'm Bill you know who in a whisper.
The security guard say sorry sir but you're not going in today. Please leave the property.
Moving now into Mike's office where Mike along with Monty and Gannon waiting on the mysterious stranger. He knocks on the door and Mike yells come in.
Once inside he takes off the sunglasses and cap and reveals once again that it is in fact Kevin costner.
Costner. Hey Mike hey guys. I just stopped by to get an update on how phase 2 was going and I have some ideas for phase 3.
Gannon barely looks up as he is scribbling seriously designing plays with both Harrison Jr and Justin Jefferson on the field at the same time. The drill is running down the corners of his mouth but he seems not to notice.
Monty. Mr Costner it is going fantastic. You are indeed a genius. Especially since you suggested we leak to the media that little dude was on the trading block. Let me just read you some of the offers we've received.
From the Las Vegas raiders we have been offered their first second and third round draft picks this year, the first second and third draft picks next year and a 5-year free pass at Caesars Palace for one of the luxury villas for myself Mike and Gannon. All they want in return is the little dude and a signed statement that we will tell no one about the luxury Villa.
Poor Peyton called us again. I recorded the conversation just so I can listen to it over and over again. Here it is.
Monty. Hello
Peyton. Hey Monty this is Sean. I'm not getting off this phone until we have a deal made for either your number for draft pick or the little dude. If not I'm going to be forced into trying to talk Kyle Orton coming out of retirement and playing at least one more year. You can't let that happen to me. I will give you our entire draft class this year and a jock strap worn by elway in one of the super bowls for either your number four pick in the first round or the little dude. I would also let you pick any two players for my roster as well. Please help me. Please help me.
At this point the recording quality deteriorates but over the sound of weeping you can hear Peyton mumbling to himself why Lord did not I stay as an announcer for one more year. I could have had the cowboys job. I could have had the Patriots job. Now I'm stuck in Denver and I don't even like Coors light.
Monty. I listen to that at least once a day while I'm drinking a Coors light. Here's the latest call from the Vikings.
Monty. Hello you've reached the office of Monty ossenfort holder of the golden ticket that can save football in your city. What can I do for you today?
Vikings GM. Hello monty. That was very funny. Haha. Look we want the fourth pick in the draft. But we're not giving you Justin Jefferson no matter what. Will give you number 11 and number 23 and our first and second and third rounder next year. I'll even throw in a jockstrap that Brett favre wote here as a player. I will also include giving you and Gannon and Mike permission to use my cabin to go duck hunting as soon as the playoffs start next year cuz y'all won't be in them.
Monty. Here's a surprising offer from the New Orleans saints. You were right Mr Costner we can get anything we want.
Monty. Hello. Thank you for calling the office of the holder of the fourth overall pick in the upcoming draft who's busy at this time counting his chickens before they're hatched.
Monty again. When the caller identified themselves of the New Orleans saints GM I decided to go and take the call so here we go.
New Orleans GM. Hey Monty how you doing bud? I'm calling today to make out a deal for your fourth overall pick in the draft. I just want you to know that under no circumstances am I going to let Peyton make a trade with you. I'll offer whatever it takes to beat him out. For starters all offer up Derek Carr and Jamius Winston. I would also throw in our first and second round pick this year as well as the socks that Drew Brees wore the super bowl the year we won. My wife will not let me give up the jock that he wore during that game but that's a personal matter so forget about that. So what's it going to take to get that pic?
Monte. That's an intriguing offer but I think we're going to need just a little bit more. What else you got?
New Orleans saints GM. How about this monte in addition to everything else I've already mentioned how about I send you a voodoo woman. If you give her a goat to sacrifice every week I guarantee you'll go at least 11 and 6. How the hell do you think we won the super bowl anyway? If it wasn't for that voodoo woman we would have no chance. You can't tell anybody that either.
Monty. That is very interesting but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on the voodoo woman. I don't think Mike would like that. He might be interested in some Cajun seasoning though that he could put in his mustard packs.
Monty. So as you can see Mr cosner it's getting very interesting and your plan is working great. You mentioned something about phase 3. What is that?
Costner. You're really going to like phase 3. You're going to get to relax a little bit. I know you've been really stressed but now you're going to get a week to just relax. We're going to have an intern leak to the press that we are no longer interested in trading either the number four overall pick or little dude and you'll be taking no phone calls at all this week. They're all going to panic when they hear this. So far they just been making candy ass offers. When we ignore them for a week they're going to come back with the real offers it'll make the Herschel Walker trade look like the cowboys got ripped off. All right I'm out here guys. Headed off to get some more pancakes. I don't really like pancakes that much but I have them often because I really really don't like Seattle's gm.
Just a few minutes later an older man wearing a St Louis battle Hawks baseball cap gets out of his vehicle and approaches a Cardinals facility for his met by two large armed security guards. They tell him sorry sir we've been told not to allow you entry today. The shabbily dressed Man says but but I'm Bill you know who in a whisper.
The security guard say sorry sir but you're not going in today. Please leave the property.
Moving now into Mike's office where Mike along with Monty and Gannon waiting on the mysterious stranger. He knocks on the door and Mike yells come in.
Once inside he takes off the sunglasses and cap and reveals once again that it is in fact Kevin costner.
Costner. Hey Mike hey guys. I just stopped by to get an update on how phase 2 was going and I have some ideas for phase 3.
Gannon barely looks up as he is scribbling seriously designing plays with both Harrison Jr and Justin Jefferson on the field at the same time. The drill is running down the corners of his mouth but he seems not to notice.
Monty. Mr Costner it is going fantastic. You are indeed a genius. Especially since you suggested we leak to the media that little dude was on the trading block. Let me just read you some of the offers we've received.
From the Las Vegas raiders we have been offered their first second and third round draft picks this year, the first second and third draft picks next year and a 5-year free pass at Caesars Palace for one of the luxury villas for myself Mike and Gannon. All they want in return is the little dude and a signed statement that we will tell no one about the luxury Villa.
Poor Peyton called us again. I recorded the conversation just so I can listen to it over and over again. Here it is.
Monty. Hello
Peyton. Hey Monty this is Sean. I'm not getting off this phone until we have a deal made for either your number for draft pick or the little dude. If not I'm going to be forced into trying to talk Kyle Orton coming out of retirement and playing at least one more year. You can't let that happen to me. I will give you our entire draft class this year and a jock strap worn by elway in one of the super bowls for either your number four pick in the first round or the little dude. I would also let you pick any two players for my roster as well. Please help me. Please help me.
At this point the recording quality deteriorates but over the sound of weeping you can hear Peyton mumbling to himself why Lord did not I stay as an announcer for one more year. I could have had the cowboys job. I could have had the Patriots job. Now I'm stuck in Denver and I don't even like Coors light.
Monty. I listen to that at least once a day while I'm drinking a Coors light. Here's the latest call from the Vikings.
Monty. Hello you've reached the office of Monty ossenfort holder of the golden ticket that can save football in your city. What can I do for you today?
Vikings GM. Hello monty. That was very funny. Haha. Look we want the fourth pick in the draft. But we're not giving you Justin Jefferson no matter what. Will give you number 11 and number 23 and our first and second and third rounder next year. I'll even throw in a jockstrap that Brett favre wote here as a player. I will also include giving you and Gannon and Mike permission to use my cabin to go duck hunting as soon as the playoffs start next year cuz y'all won't be in them.
Monty. Here's a surprising offer from the New Orleans saints. You were right Mr Costner we can get anything we want.
Monty. Hello. Thank you for calling the office of the holder of the fourth overall pick in the upcoming draft who's busy at this time counting his chickens before they're hatched.
Monty again. When the caller identified themselves of the New Orleans saints GM I decided to go and take the call so here we go.
New Orleans GM. Hey Monty how you doing bud? I'm calling today to make out a deal for your fourth overall pick in the draft. I just want you to know that under no circumstances am I going to let Peyton make a trade with you. I'll offer whatever it takes to beat him out. For starters all offer up Derek Carr and Jamius Winston. I would also throw in our first and second round pick this year as well as the socks that Drew Brees wore the super bowl the year we won. My wife will not let me give up the jock that he wore during that game but that's a personal matter so forget about that. So what's it going to take to get that pic?
Monte. That's an intriguing offer but I think we're going to need just a little bit more. What else you got?
New Orleans saints GM. How about this monte in addition to everything else I've already mentioned how about I send you a voodoo woman. If you give her a goat to sacrifice every week I guarantee you'll go at least 11 and 6. How the hell do you think we won the super bowl anyway? If it wasn't for that voodoo woman we would have no chance. You can't tell anybody that either.
Monty. That is very interesting but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on the voodoo woman. I don't think Mike would like that. He might be interested in some Cajun seasoning though that he could put in his mustard packs.
Monty. So as you can see Mr cosner it's getting very interesting and your plan is working great. You mentioned something about phase 3. What is that?
Costner. You're really going to like phase 3. You're going to get to relax a little bit. I know you've been really stressed but now you're going to get a week to just relax. We're going to have an intern leak to the press that we are no longer interested in trading either the number four overall pick or little dude and you'll be taking no phone calls at all this week. They're all going to panic when they hear this. So far they just been making candy ass offers. When we ignore them for a week they're going to come back with the real offers it'll make the Herschel Walker trade look like the cowboys got ripped off. All right I'm out here guys. Headed off to get some more pancakes. I don't really like pancakes that much but I have them often because I really really don't like Seattle's gm.