The mysterious strangers second secret meeting
Apr 2, 2024 4:10:19 GMT -7
via mobile
knobby likes this
Post by jeffcardinalfan on Apr 2, 2024 4:10:19 GMT -7
A tall mysterious man wearing a Detroit tigers baseball cap and dark sunglasses pulls up in the Cardinals facility parking lot. He approaches the front desk and the reception says go right in sir Mike is waiting on you.
Second receptionist. I still think that's Peyton Manning.
3rd receptionist. No it's not I reverse Google imaged his picture that I secretly took when he was here last time. It's Matthew mcconaughey. I think they're going to do a movie.
An intern walking by. Lol. Y'all are all wrong. It's Bill belichick. Mike is desperate to make sure this draft goes well and Bill is too embarrassed to not be in disguise.
Jumping two Mike's office where Mike Monte and Gannon await the mysterious stranger.
Mike. Hello Mr cosner. I asked you to come in so we can discuss the results of your advice the last time you were here.
Costner. I can tell by the look on Monty and gannon's face that the result I predicted it pretty much came true. I was a little skeptical if your check would clear or not but it did so thank you for that but I didn't really need four cases of mustard packets.
Mike. Okay monte why don't you fill Mr Costner in on what's been happening.
Monty. Well Mr Costner, you are absolutely right. We hired two dozen more interns just to take phone calls. The phone lines are burning up. I'm especially enjoying this because no matter which team is calling I instructed the interns to tell them that I was not available but I was on the line with another team. For example if it's the raiders calling I have the intern tell them I'm on the phone with Minnesota. Every now and then I will really shake them up and have the intern tell them I'm not available that I'm on the phone with the bears.
The Giants have called us 147 times. The Vikings have called us 123. Those two teams are leading the number of calls for receiving.
My favorite phone call however was from Sean payton. I instructed the intern to tell him the following.
Mr Peyton I was instructed to give you this message if you called. Yes we will trade spot number for to you but we want your next three first round picks and your next three second round picks and we want you to stock our locker room soda machines for 5 years.
When I asked the intern what Peyton said this is what the intern told me.
Monty, you're not going to believe what I heard. First there was a two minute long Dead silence. Then I Heard lots of crashing and banging and then finally weeping. It actually made me feel a little uncomfortable to hear Peyton begging and crying.
Costner. I'm not at all surprised. This is exactly the way I predicted. In fact I don't really see any reason why the Cardinals can't end up with four first round draft picks this year and several extra draft picks for the next two years.
Mike there is something else that I want to discuss with you. When I was walking into the facility this old dumpy looking guy who was wearing a St Louis battle Hawks baseball cap in dark sunglasses approach me. At first I thought he was homeless and was going to beg for change but he whispered to me I'm Bill you know who. You've got to get me into Mike's office. I know I can help him. I'm bored and going out of my mind. I will pay him if he will let me be a consultant for this draft just so that I have something to do. I'll even put on a suit and tie. I'm still pissed at Jerry Jones did not offer me the cowboys job. Please help me!
I thought it was joking until I looked around the parking lot and saw a Bentley with the license plate with
6 rings on it
Mike. Are you sure it was Bill you know who? If you are I'm going to have him sent right up.
A few minutes later this guy walks into the office and takes off his cap and sunglasses in the real said he is indeed Bill belichick.
Bill b. Hey Mike, hello Monty, Gannon. Look , I know I can help you. With the Cardinals holding spot number four in the first round you all are definitely in the driver's seat for this draft. Let me reveal to you my plan for the Cardinals winning the super bowl this year. First we're going to trade both of our first round draft picks for Justin Jefferson and the Vikings left guard and center. Then 98% sure that I can talk Brady into coming back and playing one more year. Gronkowski says he'll play one more year at Brady does. Monty and Gannon, y'all just relax I'm not here to take your jobs. I just want to be a consultant. I'm bored out of my mind. I've got to have something to do. I also want to be on the sidelines during the games but I wear the sky so no one knows who I am.
Mike. Well bill that is certainly something to think about. Leave your number at the front desk and we'll get back to you.
Just then an intern burst into Mike's office and this is what he has to say.
Mike, there's a guy downstairs where the Pittsburgh Steelers baseball cap in dark sunglasses and insist that he speak with you immediately.
Mike looks around the room and says nothing but puzzled looks on everyone's faces and says well send him up.
A few seconds later this man enters Mike's office takes off his sunglasses and reveals that he is Russell Wilson.
Russell, Mike thank you for seeing me. I'm sure you understand why this meeting has to be on the down low. As you know the Pittsburgh Steelers signed me to a contract but then they signed Justin Fields as well. That's not what I signed up for. I don't know if I can beat him out or not and I most definitely not going to be a backup quarterback in this league. If you could work out a way to trade for me on draft day I promise you I will beat Murray out and we will win a super bowl.
Mike. This very interesting russell. I tell you what leave your number with the receptionist at the front desk and we'll discuss it and we'll get back to you.
Russell. Thank you! Thank you! And I'm sorry I called you a bald headed geek the last time we played y'all.
After Russell leaves.
Mike. Okay guys what do you think? Let's go around the room.
Monty. It's a hard hard no for me mike. I'm not giving up any draft picks and we're not going to absorb his gigantic contract either.
Gannon. Mike it's a hard hard no for me as well. I like the little dude. Unless our offensive line gells extremely quickly this year Russell would be a turnover machine. Plus he's getting old.
Costner. Not so fast guys. Let's really shake things up. Phase two of our plan. Mike you have one of the interns leak to the press that we have contacted the Steelers about trading for Russell Wilson and that little dude is on the trading block. Monty you better hire about 20 more interns to answer the phone. Well guys that's it for me. I'm going out for pancakes
. Okay guys what do y'all think about Bill B's proposal?
Monty. I'm not giving up all of our first round picks. To himself. Are they all crazy? I'm not letting Bill be anywhere near this team. It's rumor even gets out that he was here today for a meeting I'll be crucified in the media and they'll say that bill b is really calling the shots behind the scenes.
Gannon. Will Mark that's very interesting and Monty I understand your position. I'm just a coach guys I just make suggestions this decision is yours. To himself. Yippee! As soon as this meeting is over I'm going to call my guy and see if he can get some secret video of Brady working out. I'll call my other guy and see if he can get gronkowski's medical records. Holy crap! If they both can still play I'll be coach of the year.
Mike. Okay guys let's all think about this for a week then we'll have another meeting. I'm going to call Costner and see what he thinks about this.
Second receptionist. I still think that's Peyton Manning.
3rd receptionist. No it's not I reverse Google imaged his picture that I secretly took when he was here last time. It's Matthew mcconaughey. I think they're going to do a movie.
An intern walking by. Lol. Y'all are all wrong. It's Bill belichick. Mike is desperate to make sure this draft goes well and Bill is too embarrassed to not be in disguise.
Jumping two Mike's office where Mike Monte and Gannon await the mysterious stranger.
Mike. Hello Mr cosner. I asked you to come in so we can discuss the results of your advice the last time you were here.
Costner. I can tell by the look on Monty and gannon's face that the result I predicted it pretty much came true. I was a little skeptical if your check would clear or not but it did so thank you for that but I didn't really need four cases of mustard packets.
Mike. Okay monte why don't you fill Mr Costner in on what's been happening.
Monty. Well Mr Costner, you are absolutely right. We hired two dozen more interns just to take phone calls. The phone lines are burning up. I'm especially enjoying this because no matter which team is calling I instructed the interns to tell them that I was not available but I was on the line with another team. For example if it's the raiders calling I have the intern tell them I'm on the phone with Minnesota. Every now and then I will really shake them up and have the intern tell them I'm not available that I'm on the phone with the bears.
The Giants have called us 147 times. The Vikings have called us 123. Those two teams are leading the number of calls for receiving.
My favorite phone call however was from Sean payton. I instructed the intern to tell him the following.
Mr Peyton I was instructed to give you this message if you called. Yes we will trade spot number for to you but we want your next three first round picks and your next three second round picks and we want you to stock our locker room soda machines for 5 years.
When I asked the intern what Peyton said this is what the intern told me.
Monty, you're not going to believe what I heard. First there was a two minute long Dead silence. Then I Heard lots of crashing and banging and then finally weeping. It actually made me feel a little uncomfortable to hear Peyton begging and crying.
Costner. I'm not at all surprised. This is exactly the way I predicted. In fact I don't really see any reason why the Cardinals can't end up with four first round draft picks this year and several extra draft picks for the next two years.
Mike there is something else that I want to discuss with you. When I was walking into the facility this old dumpy looking guy who was wearing a St Louis battle Hawks baseball cap in dark sunglasses approach me. At first I thought he was homeless and was going to beg for change but he whispered to me I'm Bill you know who. You've got to get me into Mike's office. I know I can help him. I'm bored and going out of my mind. I will pay him if he will let me be a consultant for this draft just so that I have something to do. I'll even put on a suit and tie. I'm still pissed at Jerry Jones did not offer me the cowboys job. Please help me!
I thought it was joking until I looked around the parking lot and saw a Bentley with the license plate with
6 rings on it
Mike. Are you sure it was Bill you know who? If you are I'm going to have him sent right up.
A few minutes later this guy walks into the office and takes off his cap and sunglasses in the real said he is indeed Bill belichick.
Bill b. Hey Mike, hello Monty, Gannon. Look , I know I can help you. With the Cardinals holding spot number four in the first round you all are definitely in the driver's seat for this draft. Let me reveal to you my plan for the Cardinals winning the super bowl this year. First we're going to trade both of our first round draft picks for Justin Jefferson and the Vikings left guard and center. Then 98% sure that I can talk Brady into coming back and playing one more year. Gronkowski says he'll play one more year at Brady does. Monty and Gannon, y'all just relax I'm not here to take your jobs. I just want to be a consultant. I'm bored out of my mind. I've got to have something to do. I also want to be on the sidelines during the games but I wear the sky so no one knows who I am.
Mike. Well bill that is certainly something to think about. Leave your number at the front desk and we'll get back to you.
Just then an intern burst into Mike's office and this is what he has to say.
Mike, there's a guy downstairs where the Pittsburgh Steelers baseball cap in dark sunglasses and insist that he speak with you immediately.
Mike looks around the room and says nothing but puzzled looks on everyone's faces and says well send him up.
A few seconds later this man enters Mike's office takes off his sunglasses and reveals that he is Russell Wilson.
Russell, Mike thank you for seeing me. I'm sure you understand why this meeting has to be on the down low. As you know the Pittsburgh Steelers signed me to a contract but then they signed Justin Fields as well. That's not what I signed up for. I don't know if I can beat him out or not and I most definitely not going to be a backup quarterback in this league. If you could work out a way to trade for me on draft day I promise you I will beat Murray out and we will win a super bowl.
Mike. This very interesting russell. I tell you what leave your number with the receptionist at the front desk and we'll discuss it and we'll get back to you.
Russell. Thank you! Thank you! And I'm sorry I called you a bald headed geek the last time we played y'all.
After Russell leaves.
Mike. Okay guys what do you think? Let's go around the room.
Monty. It's a hard hard no for me mike. I'm not giving up any draft picks and we're not going to absorb his gigantic contract either.
Gannon. Mike it's a hard hard no for me as well. I like the little dude. Unless our offensive line gells extremely quickly this year Russell would be a turnover machine. Plus he's getting old.
Costner. Not so fast guys. Let's really shake things up. Phase two of our plan. Mike you have one of the interns leak to the press that we have contacted the Steelers about trading for Russell Wilson and that little dude is on the trading block. Monty you better hire about 20 more interns to answer the phone. Well guys that's it for me. I'm going out for pancakes
. Okay guys what do y'all think about Bill B's proposal?
Monty. I'm not giving up all of our first round picks. To himself. Are they all crazy? I'm not letting Bill be anywhere near this team. It's rumor even gets out that he was here today for a meeting I'll be crucified in the media and they'll say that bill b is really calling the shots behind the scenes.
Gannon. Will Mark that's very interesting and Monty I understand your position. I'm just a coach guys I just make suggestions this decision is yours. To himself. Yippee! As soon as this meeting is over I'm going to call my guy and see if he can get some secret video of Brady working out. I'll call my other guy and see if he can get gronkowski's medical records. Holy crap! If they both can still play I'll be coach of the year.
Mike. Okay guys let's all think about this for a week then we'll have another meeting. I'm going to call Costner and see what he thinks about this.