Overheard at the Cardinals facility
Mar 19, 2024 3:07:35 GMT -7
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Redbirdfan62, knobby, and 1 more like this
Post by jeffcardinalfan on Mar 19, 2024 3:07:35 GMT -7
Gannon. Hello Mike. You wanted to see me? To himself. This better not be about mustard packets. We're all working 20 hours a day getting ready for the draft.
Mike. Hello Gannon. Yes I need to see you. Do you know what a burner phone is? Monty put in a request to get money to acquire a dozen burner phones and I don't know what they are.
Gannon. Will my burner phones are phones that you use where it's difficult to connect them directly to you. Maybe a husband who has a girlfriend on the side would use a burner phone to contact her so you can easily hide it from his wife or a drug dealer maybe. When you're done with them you just throw them away.
Mike. Why do you think Monty would need a dozen burner phones? We know he's not a drug dealer and a dozen girls on the side? That seems a bit much.
Gannon. Mike I've absolutely no idea. To himself. Dang it! I told Monty that it'd be tough to slip this by Mike because he's all about the money.
Mike. By the way, have you seen Monte recently? I haven't seen him in 2 days. I asked from the interns and they said they've only sent him once in the last 2 days and that he look like a homeless drunk.
Gannon. Come to think of it Mike I haven't seen him either. To himself. I knew I had a better disguise than Monty did. I told Monty we needed to disguise ourselves because I'm pretty sure Mike has a couple of interns who's only job is to spy on us and report back to him.
Mike. Well we'll go see him in a minute but there's something else I wanted to mention to you also. We've decided we're going to put in some luxury sweets at field level and then one of the end zones. I will need your help and instructing the players not to stand in front of these luxury boxes during the game. Okay? I need to know I can count on you.
Gannon. Sure mike. You can count on me. To himself. Are you kidding me? I'm trying to coach a football game and he wants me to monitor where the players are standing. I know, I'll make this Jeff Rogers responsibility. About going to keep him from coming up to me 10 times a game saying I got a great play for a fake field goal coach. Or hey coach let's fale this punt.
Mike. Okay then. Let's go see Monty
Mike and Gannon knocking on Monty's door...
Mike. Maybe he's not in there. He's not answering. Guess I'm going to get one of the new interns to just come sit down in front of the door and then call me when he shows up.
Gannon. Let me try Mike.
At this point he knocks on the door using a special code they had figured out earlier.
The door opens and sure enough Monty looks like a homeless drunk. He looks at Gannon with questioning eyes and Gannon shrugs and rolls his eyes.
Monty. Hey Mike. Come on in. I'm really really busy though.
Mike looks around the room and sees a dozen wall charts each one showing different draft scenarios.
Here's what was on the charts, or at least some of them
Chart number one
Quarterbacks go 1 2 3, Marvin is there at 4:00
Chart number two
Quarterbacks ago 1 2 3 so Marvin is there at 4:00 in the Vikings want to trade up
Chart number threego 1 2 3
Quarterbacks go 1 2 3 and the raiders want to trade up
Chart number four
Quarterbacks go 1 2 3 and Denver wants to trade up
Chart number five
quarterbacks you got one two three and the Giants want to trade up
Chart number 6
Quarterbacks go one too and New England takes Marvin
The rest of the charts continue in similar fashion
Mike. Well Monty this is really impressive. I can see that you're really hard at work on this. You got to tell me though what did you want the burner phones for? One of the interns told me that you also wanted these phones bought in different areas of the country and then mailed to you.
Monty. Well mike, I wanted the phones to show that they came from different parts of the country because I've been calling almost Non-Stop the vikings, the raiders, the broncos, the giants, the Jets and I wanted them to think it was somebody calling from chicago, DC and New England. It's an old trick I learned from Andy Reid. Back in the day before cell phones he would pay interns to drive to other cities and use pay phones lol. Using burner phones makes it much easier.
Mike. That's really interesting. However there's one scenario I don't see on any of your charts. I was watching ESPN this morning and one of their guys said that Minnesota would be open too trading Justin Jefferson to us for our number four pick and one of our third round picks.
Monty. Oh crap! I hadn't even considered that. Give me a second on the phone.
Monty then calls and then turning says I'm going to need at least 10 more wall charts and 10 more burner phones.
At this point Gannon falls to his knees and starts hugging Monty's legs. Their tears running down his face as he says please monty, please Monty get me Justin Jefferson
Mike. Hello Gannon. Yes I need to see you. Do you know what a burner phone is? Monty put in a request to get money to acquire a dozen burner phones and I don't know what they are.
Gannon. Will my burner phones are phones that you use where it's difficult to connect them directly to you. Maybe a husband who has a girlfriend on the side would use a burner phone to contact her so you can easily hide it from his wife or a drug dealer maybe. When you're done with them you just throw them away.
Mike. Why do you think Monty would need a dozen burner phones? We know he's not a drug dealer and a dozen girls on the side? That seems a bit much.
Gannon. Mike I've absolutely no idea. To himself. Dang it! I told Monty that it'd be tough to slip this by Mike because he's all about the money.
Mike. By the way, have you seen Monte recently? I haven't seen him in 2 days. I asked from the interns and they said they've only sent him once in the last 2 days and that he look like a homeless drunk.
Gannon. Come to think of it Mike I haven't seen him either. To himself. I knew I had a better disguise than Monty did. I told Monty we needed to disguise ourselves because I'm pretty sure Mike has a couple of interns who's only job is to spy on us and report back to him.
Mike. Well we'll go see him in a minute but there's something else I wanted to mention to you also. We've decided we're going to put in some luxury sweets at field level and then one of the end zones. I will need your help and instructing the players not to stand in front of these luxury boxes during the game. Okay? I need to know I can count on you.
Gannon. Sure mike. You can count on me. To himself. Are you kidding me? I'm trying to coach a football game and he wants me to monitor where the players are standing. I know, I'll make this Jeff Rogers responsibility. About going to keep him from coming up to me 10 times a game saying I got a great play for a fake field goal coach. Or hey coach let's fale this punt.
Mike. Okay then. Let's go see Monty
Mike and Gannon knocking on Monty's door...
Mike. Maybe he's not in there. He's not answering. Guess I'm going to get one of the new interns to just come sit down in front of the door and then call me when he shows up.
Gannon. Let me try Mike.
At this point he knocks on the door using a special code they had figured out earlier.
The door opens and sure enough Monty looks like a homeless drunk. He looks at Gannon with questioning eyes and Gannon shrugs and rolls his eyes.
Monty. Hey Mike. Come on in. I'm really really busy though.
Mike looks around the room and sees a dozen wall charts each one showing different draft scenarios.
Here's what was on the charts, or at least some of them
Chart number one
Quarterbacks go 1 2 3, Marvin is there at 4:00
Chart number two
Quarterbacks ago 1 2 3 so Marvin is there at 4:00 in the Vikings want to trade up
Chart number threego 1 2 3
Quarterbacks go 1 2 3 and the raiders want to trade up
Chart number four
Quarterbacks go 1 2 3 and Denver wants to trade up
Chart number five
quarterbacks you got one two three and the Giants want to trade up
Chart number 6
Quarterbacks go one too and New England takes Marvin
The rest of the charts continue in similar fashion
Mike. Well Monty this is really impressive. I can see that you're really hard at work on this. You got to tell me though what did you want the burner phones for? One of the interns told me that you also wanted these phones bought in different areas of the country and then mailed to you.
Monty. Well mike, I wanted the phones to show that they came from different parts of the country because I've been calling almost Non-Stop the vikings, the raiders, the broncos, the giants, the Jets and I wanted them to think it was somebody calling from chicago, DC and New England. It's an old trick I learned from Andy Reid. Back in the day before cell phones he would pay interns to drive to other cities and use pay phones lol. Using burner phones makes it much easier.
Mike. That's really interesting. However there's one scenario I don't see on any of your charts. I was watching ESPN this morning and one of their guys said that Minnesota would be open too trading Justin Jefferson to us for our number four pick and one of our third round picks.
Monty. Oh crap! I hadn't even considered that. Give me a second on the phone.
Monty then calls and then turning says I'm going to need at least 10 more wall charts and 10 more burner phones.
At this point Gannon falls to his knees and starts hugging Monty's legs. Their tears running down his face as he says please monty, please Monty get me Justin Jefferson